When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

 

 

What a beautiful day is was for a book club meeting! We welcomed two new faces and had great conversation surrounding When Breath Becomes Air, our November selection. The Year of Less, by Cait Flanders, is coming up next for December~ we have limited copies, so if you have an opportunity to find the book elsewhere, we would encourage you to do so. Also, if you don't need a copy of this title, would you mind letting us know? It helps us be more efficient in book distribution~ thanks in advance for your help!

 

Onward!

 

At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade's worth of training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, and the next he was a patient struggling to live. And just like that, the future he and his wife had imagined evaporated. When Breath Becomes Air chronicles Kalanithi's transformation from a naïve medical student "possessed," as he wrote, "by the question of what, given that all organisms die, makes a virtuous and meaningful life" into a neurosurgeon at Stanford working in the brain, the most critical place for human identity, and finally into a patient and new father confronting his own mortality.

What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? What does it mean to have a child, to nurture a new life as another fades away? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in When Breath Becomes Air.

It was unanimous, we all liked this one! We are fond of Paul, we thought he was warm, and genuine, and truly set out to make a difference in the world. Just as it was wondered aloud what more of a difference he could have made if he had lived, it was added, "But what more of a difference is he also making with his memoir?" It was an excellent, valid point. A couple members bravely and solemnly shared that they too have faced the loss of loved ones to cancer, some very recently, and they found comfort in this book~ were thankful to have read it. One other member said they don't generally buy books to add to a personal collection, and they aren't personally walking through this trial right now, but they will buy this book regardless~ just to mark parts and places that resonated with them.

We liked and appreciated the writing and the honesty of this book. We are grateful that Paul got to be everything he had originally considered pursuing... scientist, doctor and writer. We found Paul to be brave and honorable to the end.  

We liked Lucy, Paul's wife, and are so pleased she agreed to finish his book. If there was anything we weren't unanimous about, it was Paul and Lucy's decision to have a baby after the terminal diagnosis. On the one hand, by choosing to have a child, it meant that a part of Paul lives on. On the other hand, newborn babies require a lot of round the clock time, and attention, and commitment... we imagine so does caring for someone with terminal cancer. What would this mean for Lucy? What about in the future if Lucy decides she'd like to remarry? What would this mean for the child, bonding with, and then losing, their father? 

One of us was pretty sure they wouldn't choose to have a child if ever in a similar circumstance... the rest were pretty sure they would. Of which opinion are you? Let us know in the comment section below! 👇

 

P.S. If you'd like an update on how Lucy and Cady are doing these days, here's a link to an interview Lucy did about just that in 2020! Enjoy!

https://stanmed.stanford.edu/lucy-kalanithi-love-five-years-later-husband-paul/

Did you really like When Breath Becomes Air? Fans of the book also enjoyed, Being Mortal, by Atul Gawande, Tuesdays with Morrie, by Mitch Albom, and Educated (a previous book club title!), by Tara Westover. All of these titles are available within the Viking system~ reserve your copy today!  

 

Would we recommend this to a friend to read? 
"YES"  

 
Would we recommend this to another book club for discussion?
"YES"

Rate the book 1-5 stars, with 1 being the lowest rating: 

4.5 stars

A Fall of Marigolds by Susan Meissner

 

 

Welcome Fall! We met at the Perham Library to discuss this month's selection, A Fall of Marigolds, by Susan Meissner. We had a good discussion and welcomed a new face~ all good things! Up next for November is When Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalanithi. We have an abundance of this read, we should have no trouble getting a copy to each of our members~ but to be even more efficient, please let us know if you don't need a copy. Thanks!

 

To the book!

September 1911. On Ellis Island in New York Harbor, nurse Clara Wood cannot face returning to Manhattan, where the man she loved fell to his death in the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire. Then, while caring for a fevered immigrant whose own loss mirrors hers, she becomes intrigued by a name embroidered onto the scarf he carries …and finds herself caught in a dilemma that compels her to confront the truth about the assumptions she’s made. Will what she learns devastate her or free her? 

September 2011. On Manhattan’s Upper West Side, widow Taryn Michaels has convinced herself that she is living fully, working in a charming specialty fabric store and raising her daughter alone. Then a long-lost photograph appears in a national magazine, and she is forced to relive the terrible day her husband died in the collapse of the World Trade Towers … the same day a stranger reached out and saved her. Will a chance reconnection and a century-old scarf open Taryn’s eyes to the larger forces at work in her life?

The very first comment made about what we thought about this book was "Meh". That sentiment was instantly seconded by another member and with the exception of just a few, it seemed to be the overall feeling of the group. The parallel time lines were a little too similar for our taste~ it felt like we were reading the same story twice, just with different names, dates, locations and two different tragedies. We had trouble believing the story in a few places, for example, how Clara so quickly and hopelessly falls in love with Edward during a handful of elevator rides... and how the scarf itself had survived and traveled through 5 different families and several generations and remained in perfect condition. We also found Clara's seemingly constant indecision and emotional upheavals tiresome. It was noted we enjoyed her book from last year's reading list, The Nature of Fragile Things, far more than this.

We all agreed that we liked Meissner's writing, and felt she did really well at setting a scene that you could easily picture in your mind. It was said historical fiction is the way that history should be taught in our schools, as it does a much better job of "sticking" with a person. Those who really enjoyed this book said they liked the romantic story lines and kept waiting to find out whom Clara was going to choose in the end. They found the both tragedies, Ellis Island and 9/11, both moving and compelling. In fact, a fair amount of time was spent discussing 9/11~ where we all were and what we were doing when it happened, people we knew who were spared from either the buildings or the planes. It was said that part of the discussion was the best part.

 

Which did you like better in the end, The Nature of Fragile Things, or A Fall of Marigolds? Let us know below!

 

Did you enjoy A Fall of Marigolds? Fans of the book also enjoyed, The Paris Daughter, by Kristin Harmel, When We Had Wings, by Ariel Lawhon, and The Spectacular, by Fiona Davis. All of these titles are available within the Viking system~ reserve your copy today!  

 

Would we recommend this to a friend to read? 
"YES"  

 
Would we recommend this to another book club for discussion?
"NO"

Rate the book 1-5 stars, with 1 being the lowest rating: 

3 stars

Columbine by Dave Cullen

 

It was a slightly brisk September afternoon when we met at the Perham Area Public Library to discuss Columbine, by Dave Cullen. A Fall of Marigolds is coming up next for our October read. Copies are limited, so if you have an opportunity to find a copy elsewhere, we would encourage you to do so. Also, if you don't need a copy, would you mind letting us know? It definitely helps in our efforts to get a copy in everyone's hands who needs one! Thanks in advance for your help!

Onward!

What really happened April 20, 1999? The horror left an indelible stamp on the American psyche, but most of what we "know" is wrong. It wasn't about jocks, Goths, or the Trench Coat Mafia. Dave Cullen was one of the first reporters on scene, and spent ten years on this book-widely recognized as the definitive account. With a keen investigative eye and psychological acumen, he draws on mountains of evidence, insight from the world's leading forensic psychologists, and the killers' own words and drawings-several reproduced in a new appendix. Cullen paints raw portraits of two polar opposite killers. They contrast starkly with the flashes of resilience and redemption among the survivors.

Every member at the meeting agreed that the thought going into this book was that it would be very heavy, very difficult material to get through, and for a few, it was. No one felt like it was a light, uplifting read by any means, but the majority were glad that they read it in the end. They appreciated how well the author presented just the facts of the tragedy, both the events leading up to it and the subsequent investigation and devastation that followed, with no personal bias, and left it up to the reader to ultimately draw their own conclusions about who was to blame, the police response and investigation, and possible steps to take to prevent further senseless ruin in the future.

There was also a great deal of talk about psychopaths and how to spot them, which lead to mention that the author had solid evidence that there is no tried and true "profile" for this type of crime/perpetrator, citing that according to Sue Klebold, Dylan's mother, there were no hard and fast obvious signs that he was this deeply troubled... certainly no indication of the mass shooting that was to come. In almost a survivalistic sense, psychopaths typically present as very "normal" people, masters at blending in and gaining trust. It was said that if the different people involved with the Dylan and Eric had compared notes about their behavior (the Creative Writing teacher, the school counselor, the parents, fellow classmates, friends, police, etc.) all along, then maybe some of the troubling details could have come to light sooner and an intervention could have been staged. This kind of pattern of scattered pieces of the puzzle, that once put together in their entirety put things quickly into perspective, seems to be a common theme with most psychopaths across the board. More evidence of why they can be so hard to spot and apprehend~ not any one person has all the details. 

It was said it's easy to pass judgement in hindsight, but it was still hard to believe that both sets of parents didn't know more than they've claimed. That they didn't do the bare minimum of checking their backpacks and bedrooms, even accidentally so by emptying a garbage can, or delivering clean laundry. It seemed Eric's father was in a strange sense of denial about his troubled son, although it's clear Eric was a highly skilled smooth talker. 

It was also added that it was incredibly brave and painful for Sue Klebold to write letters of apology to the survivors and the families of those lost. She has gone on to do a Ted Talk, write a book, and participate in an Amazon Prime documentary titled, "American Tragedy", where she continues to share her uncensored thoughts and feelings, along with the personal details from her home life with Dylan. She is a crusader for mental illness in children and works towards a future where there are no more school shootings.

 

Did we miss anything? Do you have anything to add to our talk? Please do so down below! 👇

 

 

Are you interested in reading more books like Columbine? Fans of the book also enjoyed, Sandy Hook, by Elizabeth Williamson, Newtown, by Matthew Lysiak, and The Stranger Beside Me, by Ann Rule. All of these titles are available within the Viking system~ reserve your copy today!  

 

Would we recommend this to a friend to read? 
"NO"  

 
Would we recommend this to another book club for discussion?
"YES"

Rate the book 1-5 stars, with 1 being the lowest rating: 

4 stars

 

Looking for Alaska by John Green

 

 

The weather was almost perfect at Paul Miller Park for our August meeting where we discussed Looking for Alaska, by John Green. Up next for September is Columbine, by Dave Cullen. We'll plan to meet at the library on September 12th, and will provide a Zoom link as the time gets closer. Looking forward to seeing you all again next month!

Onward!

Before. Miles “Pudge” Halter is done with his safe life at home. His whole life has been one big non-event, and his obsession with famous last words has only made him crave “the Great Perhaps” even more (Francois Rabelais, poet). He heads off to the sometimes crazy and anything-but-boring world of Culver Creek Boarding School, and his life becomes the opposite of safe. Because down the hall is Alaska Young. The gorgeous, clever, funny, sexy, self-destructive, screwed up, and utterly fascinating Alaska Young. She is an event unto herself. She pulls Pudge into her world, launches him into the Great Perhaps, and steals his heart. Then. . . . 

After. Nothing is ever the same.

 

Everyone who attended the meeting liked the book, in varying degrees. We loved Mr. Greens character development, and found the ensemble believable, and mostly likable... although it was asked what the boys found so appealing about Alaska, being the tortured soul that she was. We appreciated the fast read with shorter chapters that were cleverly labeled so many days "before" and then so many days "after". 

If we were divided about anything it was all the controversy around book banning, with this being one of the books selected to be banned in places. On the one hand, there were members who felt like no one has the right to decide for everybody what books should be available to any audience. Kids are exposed to this conduct, and much worse, in their everyday day-to-day lives at school, on TV, the radio and the internet... this would be nothing new and/or alarming for them. They thought, in a way, that the adult themes depicted in this book, along with their consequences, was a good thing, as it could serve as a deterrent to teens, and instead encourage them to make better choices. It was also said this could open a dialog between teens and their parents to discuss these subjects and get some boundaries established. Ultimately, this group felt like it was up to parents to decide what was ok for their kids to read.

On the other hand, members countered that most teens aren't interested in having lengthy, open discussions with their parents about much of anything, let alone these precarious topics. No one felt good about handing anyone in the Young Adult age range of 12-17 years old (the marketed audience for this title) this book to read, as it felt like they'd be telling them they approved of this kind of behavior. It would feel like normalizing it. In the end, it was added, "If this book was made into a movie, it would be rated R due to it's content and subject matter, and this Young Adult audience wouldn't be allowed in. Why then, is it ok that it's marketed and put on a shelf with this specific age range in mind?" No one in the group was saying they think this, or any other book that readily came to mind, should be pulled off the shelf entirely and disposed of. Rather, a fair number thought this book should be moved from the YA shelf, to the adult fiction section and promoted to this faction instead.

How do you feel about book banning? What are your thoughts on better age appropriate book classifications? Let us know below! 👇

 

 

Are you a big fan of Looking for Alaska? Admirers of the book also enjoyed, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky, Eleanor and Park, by Rainbow Rowell, and If I Stay, by Gayle Forman. All of these titles are available within the Viking system~ reserve your copy today!   

 

Would we recommend this to a friend to read? 
"YES"  

 
Would we recommend this to another book club for discussion?
"YES"

Rate the book 1-5 stars, with 1 being the lowest rating:

4 stars

The Liars' Club by Mary Karr

 

The weather chased us indoors for our July meeting where we discussed The Liars' Club, by Mary Karr. Coming up next for August is Looking for Alaska, by John Green. As a reminder, for the August 8th meeting, we have already reserved the large shelter at Paul Miller Park. If the weather turns again, we'll move the meeting back to the library meeting room and provide a Zoom link for anyone interested in tuning in from home~ we'll be sure to let you all know ASAP if there will be any changes. 

 

To the book!

 

Mary Karr grew up in a swampy East Texas refinery town in a volatile and defiantly loving family- a hard-drinking daddy, a sister who can talk down the sheriff at age twelve, and an oft-married mother whose accumulated secrets threaten to destroy them all. In this funny, devastating, haunting memoir and with a raw and often painful honesty, she looks back at life with a painter mother, seven times married, whose outlaw spirit could tip over into psychosis, and a hard-drinking, fist-swinging father who liked nothing better than to spin tales with his cronies at the Liars' Club.

This book was largely received and described as a slog. Our members report that it was hard to get into, hard to to keep our attention, and harder still to want to pick up again after having put it down~ several attendees said they never finished it. This group couldn't relate to the story and really didn't care for any of the characters, with the exception of maybe Mary's father. They cited disjointed, distracted writing that veered off onto a myriad of tangents... and long chapters... and a bizarre ending.

The sparse praise that we could offer for this read was that Karr could craft a setting with good sensory bits folded into it so that one could "feel" the scene right along with her. One member added, "It made me want to clean my house, do the laundry, and take a shower." It was also added that while they didn't necessarily enjoy the book, they were glad they finished it.

In the end, when a handful of members mentioned that they hadn't finished the book and thought they'd decide on whether they'd like to or not after our talk, one attendee said, "There's just too many other good books out there to read." Collective laughter followed.

It was touched on a couple different times during the meeting that a few people questioned whether or not the book was completely accurate, or if it had been embellished here and there in an effort to be more sensationalized, and in turn, sell more copies. To the surprise of some, this practice in memoir is kind of the best un-kept secret of the genre. Apparently, it isn't unheard of in the slightest for memoir authors to exaggerate in their recounting... this was highly disappointing to some. Shouldn't it then be considered/marketed/shelved as fiction?

 

Weigh in below! 👇

 

Would you like to read more books like The Liars' Club? Fans of the book also enjoyed, Running with Scissors, by Augusten Burroughs, Savage Beauty, by Nancy Milford, and The Glass Castle, by Jeanette Walls. All of these titles are available within the Viking system~ reserve your copy today!   

 

At the conclusion of every book club discussion we ask three questions and track the average answers:

Would we recommend this to a friend to read? 
"NO"  

 
Would we recommend this to another book club for discussion?
"NO" (we were unanimous!!)

Rate the book 1-5 stars, with 1 being the lowest rating:                                                      2 stars

 

The Bookshop on the Corner by Jenny Colgan

 

Our June meeting was held outdoors at Paul Miller Park! We welcomed a couple new faces and discussed The Bookshop on the Corner, by Jenny Colgan. Coming up next in July, we're reading The Liars' Club, by Mary Karr. As a heads up, it looks like we'll be planning on trying to meet outdoors for the duration of these summer months meetings~ but we'll be sure to let you know for sure either way prior to each meeting~ stay tuned!

 

To the goods!

 

Nina Redmond is a literary matchmaker. Pairing a reader with that perfect book is her passion… and also her job. Or at least it was. Until yesterday, she was a librarian in the hectic city. But now the job she loved is no more.

Determined to make a new life for herself, Nina moves to a sleepy village many miles away. There she buys a van and transforms it into a bookmobile—a mobile bookshop that she drives from neighborhood to neighborhood, changing one life after another with the power of storytelling. From helping her grumpy landlord deliver a lamb, to sharing picnics with a charming train conductor who serenades her with poetry, Nina discovers there’s plenty of adventure, magic, and soul in a place that’s beginning to feel like home… a place where she just might be able to write her own happy ending.

I think it would be appropriate to say the group agreed that this book was a welcomed, easy read after last months The Sentence. The majority of us thought this was an enjoyable, uncomplicated summer read, however, they agreed with the few naysayers that there were unbelievable places seeped in sap. Those who caught this read as an audio book highly praised, and recommend, that version.  

Those few who were less impressed by the book liked the authors introduction to the book better than the story itself. The read felt like young adult fiction, written by a young adult. They couldn't get past the implausible parts and missing details that lead to the happy, tidy endings for each character portrayed. 

In closing, again, it was said that maybe not every read has to be stellar. Some books can just simply be a welcomed reprieve from heavier material or life stressors. One member thought enjoying books despite all their perceived hangups is a superpower they wish they could wield.... can you guess who that might be? 😉

 

 

Would you like to read more books like The Bookshop on the Corner? Fans of the book also enjoyed, The Bookish Life of Nina Hill, by Abby Waxman, Remarkably Bright Creatures, by Shelby Van Pelt, and The Bookshop of Second Chances, by Jackie Fraser. All of these titles are available within the Viking system~ reserve your copy today!   

 

At the conclusion of every book club discussion we ask three questions and track the average answers:

Would we recommend this to a friend to read? 
"YES"  

 
Would we recommend this to another book club for discussion?
"NO" (we were unanimous!!)

Rate the book 1-5 stars, with 1 being the lowest rating: 
3 stars

2023-2024 READING LIST

June 13, 2023: The Bookshop on the Corner// Jenny Colgan

July 11,2023: The Liars' Club// Mary Karr

August 8, 2023: Looking for Alaska// John Green

September 12, 2023: Columbine// David Cullen

October 10, 2023: A Fall of Marigolds// Susan Meissner

November 14, 2023: When Breath Becomes Air// Paul Kalanithi

December 12, 2023: The Year of Less// Cait Flanders

January 9, 2024: Fahrenheit 451// Ray Bradbury

February 13, 2024: The Man Who Climbed...// Jonas Jonasson

March 12, 2024: Murder on the Red River// Marcie Rendon

April 9, 2024: Thunderstruck// Erik Larson

May 14, 2024: Harbour Street// Ann Cleeves